Feel Good Sisterhood

Bonus: Mini-Trainings & Master Classes
Feel Good Sisterhood: Resources

23.1 Discipline

It’s a Practice

We tend to think about discipline as being a quality that either one has or she doesn’t (with most of us believe that we do not have this gene). But I’m sure that there are some areas of your life where you’re


All right, so in this video, what we’re going to talk about is discipline. Now, it’s always really interesting to hear people talk about discipline because what I hear folks say is I’m just not disciplined. It’s like discipline is a quality that we have or that we don’t have.

And I want to suggest that there are some areas that you may be disciplined in and some areas that you may not be disciplined in. And so, therefore, discipline is not a state of being. It’s not a quality that we can just wear or take off. And I also want to suggest the discipline is a practice.

And so, when we talk about discipline, oftentimes, something else that will come up is willpower. And willpower is also something that people are like, oh, I just don’t have willpower. And again, we may have willpower in one area or not in another.

And when we start to manage our mind, when we start to manage the instant gratification monster and put her off for another day or put her off for something later. And say, okay, I hear you, I know we want the cookies now, but we’re not going to have the cookies now. We’re going to have one cookie later or we’re going to have one cookie and move on. And then, stick to it.

So, I think that when we’re talking about discipline, it’s not like we can go completely uncontrolled to completely disciplined in a week, or even two weeks, or even a month. And so, like we’ve been talking about throughout this entire program is we want to start building that muscle. We want to start creating that muscle. And how we do that is we don’t make huge changes overnight. What we do is we lean into it.

So, for right now, if you are eating, let’s say five cookies a day and you want to get to no cookies a day. What we want to do is we want to go back to one of the very first lessons where I was talking about intensity, density, and frequency.

And so, if I want to stop eating cookies, we don’t go from five cookies to zero cookies five days a week, seven days a week. Right? What we do is we slowly start to wean ourselves off of it. And we can replace that habit with something else temporarily until we get out of it. So, what that might look like is eating four cookies three days a week, and five cookies five days a week.

Now, is it going to take longer? Yes. Absolutely, 100%. But maybe not because if we’re actually successful in weaning ourselves off of it slowly versus going off of it 100%, and then coming back to it. I would suggest that doing it the slow way is actually the successful way, and therefore the way that it’s actually going to be quicker. Right?

Okay. So, willpower and won’t power. Okay. So, willpower being something like I am going to go exercise. Won’t power being, I’m not going to eat cookies. Okay. Those are again, muscles that we have to flex. We have to practice using them. And so, that’s how we begin to develop the skill and practice of discipline.

And it’s something that you will have to do for the rest of your life. It’s just something that it gets easier as we do it more often. It becomes, you know what? This is just what I do. I exercise every day at seven o’clock in the morning. Every day I eat a salad for lunch. I am not the type of person who eats snacks after dinner time. Okay.

So, these are the skills that we need to practice when we talk about this building the skill of discipline. So, when we talk about discipline, one of the things that we need to do is we need to prioritize what is important to us. And when we prioritize those things that are important to us, the next thing we need to do is we need to evaluate to see if we are actually doing the things that we say are important to us.

So, in another video, I’m going to talk about the time autopsy, and something called the Eisenhower matrix. And in that, I’m going to suggest that you start to look at how you spend your time. Because so often, we’re like, oh, I don’t have time to do that, or I don’t, I feel so overwhelmed, I don’t have time to do that.

When if we’re actually looking at how we’re spending our time, we’re probably not using it very efficiently. And so, in that video, I’m going to talk about how to prioritize those things that are important to you and how to get out of chaos. Which is something that so many of us run on. Right?

Now, the last thing that I want to say about discipline is that so often I hear from so many folks that discipline is boring. When I think about being disciplined, I think that we can’t have fun, we can’t be spontaneous, and all of those things. But I’m going to suggest that by being disciplined, we can actually be more spontaneous, we can actually enjoy our rest time more.

Because when we’ve completed those things that are important to us, those things that make a difference that move our goal forward. Then, we can rest afterwards, and enjoy that rest, and really feel like, I deserve this versus when we rest first, and then we’re thinking about, oh, I need to do this thing later.

So, by cultivating discipline into your life, what will happen is you will actually create more enjoyment in your life because you’ll be proud of yourself for the things that you’ve done. You’ll be proud of yourself for what you’ve accomplished.

And so, by doing the things that you want to do most, those things are important to you. Then, you’ll be able to rest, and relax, and enjoy family time, or fun time, or blowing off steam time, or reading a novel, or watching Netflix and not feeling any guilt about what it is that you’ve done today. Okay.

So, just remember, discipline is a practice. It’s not a quality about you. It’s not a descriptor. You’re really careful about describing yourself as not being disciplined. Because the unconscious brain hears that, and it goes out, and it makes it come true. All right?

That’s all I have for you in this video. I’ll see you in the next one.

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