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Boundaries (optional video)

Deciding what you’re willing to tolerate

Boundaries are going to have a HUGE impact on your ability to take care of yourself and your needs. One of the reasons that we haven’t been successful in the past is because we’ve allowed other people’s needs, wants, and comfort to take priority over our own needs and wants.

Transcript

All right, so in this video, I want to talk about boundaries. The way that I think about boundaries is a little bit different I think then, how other people think about boundaries?

Oftentimes, we think about boundaries as controlling other people. And what I want to suggest is that boundaries most often come from a place of self-love. And so, when we think about boundaries, I also want you to think about violating your personal space or your perimeter.

So, when we think about boundaries, they often come from an “if, then” statement. So, an example of that is if someone punches me, what do I want to do? So, boundaries are decided ahead of time, that I am not going to allow someone to touch me. And if they do touch me, then what I am going to do in response?

Boundaries can also be in a situation where you’re having an argument with a partner. Potentially, if they raise their voice, what you want to do? And some of those things would be like, just do a brainstorm. Like, do I want to remove myself from the room? Because remember that we can’t control other people. And other people don’t even really need to know about the boundaries.

So, another example of that might be, if your mother-in-law stops over at your house unannounced, what do you want to happen? So, she’s entering in the perimeter of your house. She’s trying to get in and what do you want to happen? Now, you may want to talk to her about this ahead of time. But boundaries, again, don’t happen from being able to control her. She can come over as much as she wants, you don’t have to let her in.

And so, just be aware that again, boundaries come from a place of self-love. So, when you ask yourself, what would I do if I loved myself? That’s going to impact, how you want to show up for yourself? And then, what the resulting action is going to be when this boundary gets crossed? Okay.

So, I have a podcast episode down below for you on this, where I explain it much more in depth. But just be aware that boundaries are actually going to be really super freaking important when it comes to being successful in developing better habits, and losing weight, and being successful in your goal. Because what you’re ultimately doing is you’re protecting your own self-interest.

And so, the more you can really love yourself, and say, “okay, this is what I want to happen,” and let other people do what they want to do. But really come at it from a place of self-love as opposed to trying to control other people. Right? That’s the really big distinction here is that when it comes to boundaries, we are not saying that other people can’t do anything. What we’re saying is I love myself enough not to tolerate this behavior to myself. All right?

So, that’s all I have for you in this video. I’ll see you in the next one.

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