Feel Good Sisterhood

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Feel Good Sisterhood: Resources

Introduction: Becoming More Empowered

This week, we’re taking ownership of our results – not from a place of blame, but from a place of responsibility – understanding that no one is going to save us except ourselves. When we show up in our relationship to ourselves and our body with 100% responsibility, (instead of feeling resentful that we don’t ‘get to’) we will create the results that we desire.


Welcome to week 20. In week 20, we’re talking about responsibility and empowerment. And what I mean by that is it’s a little bit different or a step further than what we were talking about when we were talking about emotional childhood and emotional adulthood.

When we’re talking about emotional childhood and emotional adulthood, remember that what we’re doing is we’re saying that those people make me feel this way or that circumstance is making me feel this way. Instead of understanding that the reason why we feel a certain way is because of the way that we’re thinking about that situation.

And what that allows us to do is it allows us to become more empowered within our emotions and our emotional experience. Because then, we understand that the power to change, how we feel is all within us. And so, taking this a step further, I think that there are some situations that happen with other people and that happened with our body, where we feel victimized.

So, when we talk about relationships and when we talk about our problems, one of the dynamics that we see pop up a lot is victim mentality. And when we have a victim mentality, meaning, the reason that I’m feeling this way is because of X. That when we identify as someone is doing something to me, when we identify as a victim, then there has to be a villain.

And so, someone or something is perpetrating and doing this to me. And so, that’s what we talk about when I’m talking about victim mentality. Now again, when I’m talking about victim mentality, I’m not talking about being a true victim of crime. Okay.

And so, you can be a victim of a crime, but not identify as a victim. It’s a little bit subtle, but it’s for sure there. That when I carry around that the reason that I am, the way that I am, the reason that I can’t do what I want to do is because of that other thing or that other person. Okay. That’s what I’m talking about when I’m talking about victim mentality.

And so, when we identify as a victim, there’s always going to be someone who is a villain. Someone who is perpetrating on me. The reason that I can’t do the thing is because of that person. And in order to get out of being a victim, we also have to have a superhero, someone who’s going to save us.

And it’s always really interesting to ask ourselves well, who is going to save us when it comes to our weight loss, or our weight problems, or any of our relationships for that matter.

And when you look at something called the hero’s journey, which is a storyline that you see in movies and in books all over again, what happens is the protagonist of the storyline identifies as the victim, right?

There’s some sort of thing that happens to them where they are not empowered to do whatever it is that they’re trying to accomplish. And then, they meet a guide, and that guide guides them through to become their own superhero.

So, be aware that if you are identifying as this victim mentality, and we’re not judging here, like I do this all the time. And when I realize that what’s happening is I’m thinking, this is happening me, then what I ask myself in response is the question, okay, so how is this happening for me? Okay.

And so, when we can become more empowered in our situations and understand why situations are happening for us instead of to us. Then, what happens is we get rid of all of the resentment, we get rid of all of the negative thoughts, and feelings associated with it.

So, this week, not only are we talking about victim mentality, but we’re also going to be talking about forgiveness. We’re going to be talking about responsibility and fault. I’ve talked about this before, way back at the beginning of the program. But I want to address it again, so that you feel more empowered with the choices that you’re making.

And then, the last piece that I want to talk about is empowerment and entitlements. Okay. So, welcome to week 20, we got a lot of stuff here. It’s not very heavy in a worksheets, but this content is really good in helping you with your relationships.

Because the relationships that we have with other people, the relationships that we have with ourselves are what caused us to want to emotionally eat. They cause us to feel bad.

And when we feel bad, we turn to food, we turn to alcohol, we turn to other buffering and numbing behaviors in order to self-sooth.

And so, the more we can clean up how we feel about those other relationships, the more we don’t have to turn to food in order to self-sooth. Okay. So, that’s how it all connects.

That’s all I have for you in this video. I’ll see you in the next one.

Resources & Links

  • Forgiveness
  • Entitlement and Empowerment