Feel Good Sisterhood

Bonus: Mini-Trainings & Master Classes
Feel Good Sisterhood: Resources

4.2 The Think/Feel/Act Cycle

Introduction to The Model

The Think/Feel/Act Cycle (the basis of The Model) will reveal the issue behind all of our problems. This doesn’t mean that we will never have problems again. However, using the Model will create the awareness that we need in order to look at our problems and decide from a place of power what to do about them.

The Think/Feel/Act Cycle is important because we think that we will be happy if we change our circumstances: if we change how much we weigh, or how we look, or the car that we drive, or who we’re married to. But the truth is that there was probably a time when those circumstances brought you happiness. You just changed your thoughts about them.

The first step to The Model is becoming aware of our thoughts – and we’ve done that with the Thought Download exercise.

Often, we’ll wonder why we did a certain thing – whether it’s eating too much, avoiding exercise, telling someone yes when we don’t want to do the thing, or not following through on a commitment to ourselves. When we start to examine our behavior through the Think/Feel/Act Cycle, it will all make sense.

Transcript

All right, so in this video I want to introduce you to something called the think, feel, act cycle. And the thing, feel, act cycle is actually one of the most powerful tools that we are going to use within this program. And over the past couple of weeks, we’ve been warming you into using this. So, first by starting with the body scans, so that you can start to feel how do emotions feel in my body.

And then in week two, we started with the thought downloads. And so, in the thought download we were starting to reveal some of those voices or some of the thoughts that are, our lower brain offers us. So that we can get more in touch with it and also start to notice how those lower brain suggestions are actually influencing how we act, okay.

And so, this is actually going to be a huge piece in our program moving forward. So, the think feel act cycle is based off of something called cognitive behavior therapy and in cognitive behavior therapy or CBT, they call it the thoughts, emotion, behavior cycle, okay.

So, it’s very similar and then my teacher, Brooke Castillo from the Life Coach School actually created something around that a wrapper that she calls the model. And so, I’m going to teach you the model right now, all right.

Now, the model has five different pieces to it and I’m going to point out what’s the model and what’s the think, feel, act cycle, okay?

So, the model is these five pieces right behind me and I’m going to go through them again in just a second. Now, what I love about the model is that it really reveals exactly how we interact with the world around us.

And I just want you to be aware that right now we’re only starting with awareness, because again, we’re just in month one and I want you to be aware of what’s happening. Next week, we’re actually going to get into what’s called intentional thought creation, which is how we change our results, okay.

But for right now this week, all we’re doing is noticing. How are we creating our own results? All right.

So, let me explain the model. The model consists of five different pieces. So, the first piece is what we call circumstances. And so, when we think about circumstances, we think about facts, all right? So, things that we could argue for example in a court of law.

So, when we think about circumstances, we think about there’s a person, they said something to me, okay. Those are circumstances.

Now, circumstances or events are neutral in and of themselves. And what I mean by that isn’t that we shouldn’t have any feeling about any specific event or any specific circumstance. But rather that multiple people could have different thoughts and feelings about that circumstance, okay.

So, let me back up for a second. We know that, how we manage our stress? And that’s really what this model is all about is solving our problems. We know that, when we are unable to take care of ourselves, it’s because of how we manage our problems; it’s how we manage our stress. And so, when we have an event.

So, let’s say that two people experienced the same exact event. Those two people are going to have very different experiences, stress responses of that event. And so, we know that the reason that those two people have a different experience of that event is because of the way that they think about the events, okay.

Another example might be me as a person. I am the same person, but two different people can one person can love me, the other person could really not like me at all. And so, we know that I am the same person, I am saying the same things, I look the same way to each of these people. But the way that they experience me is very different and that’s all because of how they think about it. All right?

So, circumstances are neutral. This program, the feel-good sisterhood is neutral, okay. The weather is neutral, those are all circumstances. All right? So, hopefully that makes sense.

Now, as I alluded to, our thoughts what we think about the circumstance is what gives meaning to the circumstance, okay.

When I say that the weather is neutral, whether it’s rainy or whether it’s sunny is completely neutral. But two people could have very different experiences of that. So, one person could say, “oh, it’s raining outside; oh, I hate the rain.” But someone else could be thinking, “oh my God, it’s amazing that it’s raining outside because we really need the rain,” okay.

So again, same circumstance it’s raining, but the way that we look at that experience is completely different, okay. So, our thoughts give events and circumstances their meaning.

Now, negative thoughts create negative feelings, positive thoughts create positive feelings. So, in that example of the weather being a neutral circumstance. The thought of, “oh my God, this is amazing it’s raining, we really need the rain.”

That’s a positive thought. And so, that’s going to give a feeling that is in response to that, like relief or maybe not happiness but gratitude or something similar like that. Whereas the thought of, “oh, it’s raining, I can’t believe it’s raining, it’s terrible.” Then that’s going to give the feeling of resentment or bummed out or something like that, all right?

So, feelings are emotions in our body and there are tons of different feelings. There is a worksheet that I have for you which is, has like four pages of feelings on it. It can be really overwhelming looking through that. And so, what we can do is when we’re not really sure, how something is making us feel?

We can start with like bad or good, closed, or expansive, okay. And then start to work from there. I definitely suggest that you keep doing body scans and you keep getting in touch with how emotions feel in your body, right?

Now, here’s the thing, is feelings directly influence our actions, okay? So, in the example of, it’s raining outside, I have the thought that it’s wonderful that it’s raining because we really need the rain. I feel grateful for the rain. I may actually go out and stand in the rain just to experience it. Versus the person who’s thinking, “oh my God, it’s raining, this is terrible.”

They’re going to probably feel bad or resentful and they’re not going to go outside in the rain or if they do go out in the rain, it’s going to be hunched over and running from the rain trying to shelter themselves from the rain.

So, when we get into actions, what’s really important here is that we may do the same thing but the energy behind doing that thing, either standing up in the sky and letting the rain come down on me versus covering up and running through the rain, the energy behind the action is going to be very different. All right?

Now, let me talk a little bit about actions here as well. Now, actions don’t have to be just physical actions. Actions can also be thoughts that are going on in your head. If you’re feeling shame, for example, and your actions might be that you are ruminating or you’re going over the specific event in your head if you’re feeling like you did something wrong.

So, actions can be like replaying events in your head. They don’t have to be me physically doing something. The other thing about actions is that actions can also be in-action. So, when I’m feeling resistant, when I’m not doing something that I’m supposed to be doing, that would be an action, okay. Even though it’s not, all right. So, like for example, if I’m feeling overwhelmed, overwhelm is going to lead to in-action, okay.

Not doing whatever it is that I am supposed to be doing, because I feel overwhelmed, right?

Now, our actions directly correlate to our results. So, we know especially in weight loss and health that the things that we do, create our results, okay.

And so, going back to the weather example the thought of, “oh my God, this is amazing, we really need the rain gives me the feeling of gratitude, I go outside, and I allow the rain to fall on me. And then, the result is that I feel grateful for the rain, okay.

So, sometimes our results will be just reinforcing our feelings or our thoughts. But here’s one thing that’s actually very true is our results are always going to be a direct result of our thoughts, okay.

And I have another video where I give other examples of this exact situation, all right. And we’re also going to be doing some live coaching with you on your thoughts and how they create your results, all right.

So, this is just a really brief example of what the model is and again, we’re going to be working on this more.

I have another video which talks about model problems, so where you might get tripped up. And then, also or another video of lots of different examples that you can go through and understand and see how it’s applied.

I also have a comprehensive workbook that is going to go along with this material. And so, there’s lots of different resources available for you below and take a look at those and we’ll go through them together.

See you in the next video.

Resources & Links

  • Model Examples
  • Model Problems & Advanced Models

Worksheets & Workbooks